Gainfully Unemployed

What do you love?

2008-09-04T07:39:00.003-05:00

In our busy busy world, sometimes we neglect to make time for activities that don't contribute to the bottom line but are still important to us. For me, one of those things is choral singing.

I actually got paid the first time I sang in a choir. Fifteen dollars a month, in 5th grade. We sang for women's groups. I cried when the director told me I had to be an alto. I thought singing harmony was a demotion. Later, of course, I realized that holding your part is more challenging than singing the melody.

By the time I reached high school, my main goal in life was to get into the Viking Choir. They sang on television, toured Europe every other year, made albums, and had lots of parties. And you couldn't be in school musicals unless you were in choir. Finally, it was an honors class, which meant an A was worth more.

But a grueling audition with our strict choral director, Walter Rodby, was required. You had to sight read--he gave you a piece of music and the starting note, then you had to read the rest off the page with no accompaniment. You had to repeat back patterns played on the piano, sing a variety of scales and chords, and hold your part in the Star Spangled Banner. Voice quality, not my strong suit, counted too. Scoring was kept secret, but rumor said that over 40 out of 50 meant you'd probably get in.

So I took voice lessons. My teacher said, "I have a good track record of getting people into choir. But I don't know about you." I scheduled a lesson right before my audition. I cried in the car on the way to school. The girl auditioning before me came out of the room crying.

I survived the audition. By squinting at the piece of paper on the piano, I could see that my score was 43. I got in. In addition to loving the process of learning new pieces and singing them, many of the best moments of my junior and senior years were because of choir...touring Greece, having a half hour Christmas special on WGN-TV, making friends.

I just loved choral singing. So I sang in a symphony choir in college for a couple of semesters and an oratorio society in law school, and sang some amazing music, from Vaughn William's Dona Nobis Pacem to Mahler's Symphony of 1000 to highlights from Philip Glass's Satyagraha. It's not every day you get to sing in Sanskrit with music that, instead of having every measure written out so you can follow along, had a bracket over a group of measures with a number on top, such as 9. Meaning you had to count while repeating that phrase 9 times.

I remember the thrill of singing Beethoven's 9th under the direction of the late Christopher Keene. There was something about the energy in the air during one of our performances...as the final chords echoed through the hall, the audience jumped to its feet.

But when I started working, choral singing fell by the wayside. Until a couple of years ago, when the Chicago Bar Assiation formed a chorus. I joined with a friend. We sang Beethoven's 9th at Navy Pier for 1,100 people. We sang the National Anthem at a Sox game (which can be heard on the CBA Web site.) Now we're starting Haydn's Creation.

I'm really enjoying singing again. But all of us...from young to retirees, must make time in our schedules for rehearsals and performances.

What, pun intended, strikes a chord deep within you?

Sticking to it

2008-08-27T15:57:00.004-05:00

Almost everyone has something he or she is working toward...whether it's finishing (or submitting) that novel, losing 10 pounds, cleaning out the garage, or trying to excercise more/eat healthier.

But how many of us actually reach the goals we set for ourselves? We do reach goals set by our bosses: finish that report by Friday. Because if we don't, there are consequences...like getting fired. For personal goals, often the only consequence is how unhappy you're going to be with yourself if you don't succeed. Many of us have no qualms saying, "I'll just work out tomorrow," or "I'd rather do X, I'll get to that thing Y I want to do another time."

What makes some of us stick to our goals while others don't?

Maybe
--careful planning is the key...breaking a big goal, such as writing a novel, into small, doable steps. Say you'll complete one page (or 250 words) per day, instead of letting the mind boggle at the thought of finishing an entire book. Or decide to clean one drawer at a time instead of letting the messiness of an entire room overwhelm you and stop you from getting started.
-- there's a discipline gene...what if some people have it and some don't?
--some want to be the Red Hen, not the other barnyard animals: wishing they could reap the benefit eating the bread without having to participate in the baking
--there are those who enjoy talking about what they will do, rather than actually investing the time and effort into making that dream a reality...and end up failing. The hope of "I could have..." vs. the defeat of "Now I know I can't."

--they need a motivational buddy, a coach, a supporter, so they know at least one person is recognizing and encouraging their efforts.

--it's fear of success, how their lives will change if they do succeed.

Are one of these reasons or something else holding you back? Figure out what's holding you back and take steps to remove or overcome the hindrance(s).

Now you've set another goal...will you reach this one?

Customer Service...Take Two

2008-08-22T08:26:00.000-05:00

Everyone with DSL service pays his or her provider for reliable, 24 hour Internet access. Those of us who work at home and need to upload files to industry professionals in a timely manner rely on being able to get online whenever we need to.

My building used to have Comcast cable, so having Comcast Internet led to cost savings. Last summer a neighbor and I experienced Internet that came and went. Both of us spent hours on the phone trying to troubleshoot, and both awaited technicians who never arrived. And at least once, I received a recorded message that the technician was cancelled because the problem had been resolved. Not.

So when my building switched to DirectTV, I switched my Internet to AT&T. I was surprised by how easy the transition was and AT&T's much lower monthly rate. I was able to install the new modem and connect to the service by my un-techy self. The speed was amazing compared to Comcast, service consistent. All was well.

Until a couple of weeks ago, when my AT&T service started getting spotty. Of course, pinpointing why is the challenge. When you call, of course you don't get a person right away. The annoying auto attendant voice asks you to say a variety of commands, which he rarely understands. "I think you said ____," or "Sorry, I'm not sure what you entered." And there are those long pauses while he processes whatever you've said and moves to the next prompt.

When you finally make your way through the maze to a person, he or she starts all over, confirming your phone number and then collecting your complete name and address, last 4 digits of your SSN. I understand the need for security, but this takes too long. Then they want you to trouble shoot a zillion things, even when you know the problem isn't from your end.

"Turn the modem off. Check the cables." Like I hadn't already done those things. "Remove the filter from your DSL phone line." Ok, hadn't tried that one. No change. Your account doesn't show up as registered. So you shouldn't be getting service at all." Well, I don't recall being asked to register and I've used AT&T since last November.
That took around 26 minutes. Then a few hours later I got a recorded message that the problem had been resolved. Not.

Even when you call a second time the same day, and when you have a ticket number to refer them to, they insist on starting all over and walking you through every single step. Resolving that, then trying to get a credit on my bill for the time I'd wasted and loss of service took 39 minutes. However, I got transferred from department to department because DSL said Phone had to issue the credit, and Phone sent me back to DSL where I didn't get to a person but back to the auto attendant and would have had to start all over.

Then when I tried to call to reschedule the technician using the phone number in an email I'd recieved, it turned out to be the wrong number so that took more time than it should have taken.

On another note, why do the numbers you need on the bottom of the modem have to be so tiny?

While each AT&T employee was friendly as he/she read her obvious script, each seemed to have access to different information and advice. The last guy I talked to seemed the most knowledgeable and did some troubleshooting on his end to resolve my DSL issue. Time will tell.

But why does this process have to be so painstakingly frustrating? Can't customer service departments find ways to simplify and speed up incoming calls? At the very least there should be a way to allow callers to provide each piece of info once, and to track issues so when you call back you can either 1) talk to the same representative who is already familiar with your issue 2) know that the next representative can easily retrieve whatever has gone on before so you can start where you left off.

Now, back to getting that credit...

When are you done?

2008-08-14T08:10:00.000-05:00

These are common pieces of writing advice:

--Allow yourself to write a bad first draft. Get something down, because you can't revise a blank page.
--After completing a manuscript, set it aside for a few weeks. With fresh eyes, you can revise.
--Have critique partner(s) or beta readers let you know what does/doesn't work for them so you can revise.

So when ARE you done? When is a manuscript finished? I've heard many published authors say even if they reread one of their books already on the shelves, they find things to change or improve.

And then, of course, even when you think you're done, agents and/or editors may ask for more revisions, before or after you sell. On the one hand, having an industry professional point out what she considers to be a weakness is a great thing. Some authors take offense that anyone would dare to criticize their carefully crafted tomes, but most know that revision requests are often another step on the road to publication of that book.

The industry professional is interested enough in your writing and story to take the time out of her busy day to work with you. And at least now you know what to fix. But the mind boggles as I consider the advice of critiquers and work my way through requested revisions. The hard part is applying a suggestion you understand intellectually to your characters and plot.

Take, for example, the suggestion to add more motivation for a character. How much is enough? Do I need a whole new scene, or can I add to an existing one? How do I trust my gut, which obviously wasn't right in the first place or I wouldn't be revising?

One way, for the first 20 pages at least, is via my Romance Writer of America chapter. We give critiques at our meetings. You bring in copies of your first 20 pages and read them to the group. Then the 20+ people attending make written comments and provide an oral critique.

When I review the comments at home and see a bunch of smiley faces on a page, I'm confident that section resonates. If many members mark that don't like something, it's easier to accept that element should be changed than if only one person disliked it.

I used to think I knew when I was done. Maybe, as some say, the answer is you're never done. So how do you ignore the urge to go through the pages just one more time, looking for everything from typos to missed opportunities for emotion?

Maybe the question is, "When do you let go?"

Back from San Francisco

2008-08-07T08:30:00.001-05:00

Just got back from the Romance Writers of America conference in San Francisco. The Today Show stopped by...

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/25966976#25966976

If you watched the video, please recall that the reporter says something like "500 authors attended the convention." Actually, 520 authors autographed books at the booksigning for literacy shown in the story, which raised appx. $58,000 in two hours. Almost 2,000 authors and industry professionals attended the conference (not convention). A big difference, don't you think?

Comfortable shoes and stamina (and sweaters to combat the air conditioning) were a must. Attendees had at least nine events per hour to choose from...workshops on craft, publishing, research, career and the writer's life to chats with best-selling authors, publisher spotlights, editor/agent appointments, and publisher sponsored book signings.

I played the tambourine in the opening session, attended events hosted by special interest chapters I belong to (including Hearts Through History Romance Writers and Chick Lit Writers),
participated in a panel workshop with four fellow American Title II contest finalists on the importance of promotion before you sell, did a lot of networking and catching up with friends, and even left the hotel several times to go to restaurants and parties. I participated in the Golden Heart/RITA awards ceremony by handing the awards to the presenters.

The view from the hotel:

Now...back to work!

Life is a Hard Boiled Egg

2008-07-23T09:09:00.006-05:00

Remember the "cake" 1 credit college class that turned out to be a lot more work and a lot more difficult than a 3 credit class?

Why is it that sometimes things that should be easy aren't?

Take boiling eggs. My neighbor decided to make a Nicoise salad. She covered two brown eggs with water, then boiled them for 7 minutes, but the yolks weren't quite cooked and her fresh eggs were a challenge to peel...chunks of the white disappeared with the shell. I too decided to make a Nicoise salad. I boiled 4 white extra large eggs (not exactly fresh, past their sell by date) for 10 minutes. The middles of the yolks weren't cooked and the eggs were hard to peel even though a couple of the shells were already cracked. The last time I'd tried to boil eggs, I'd used a "recipe" from the Chicago Tribune. That didn't produce perfect, firm yolks with or without that telltale subtle gray rim either. Like Goldilocks's efforts to eat porridge in The Three Bears, my eggs and my friend's eggs were edible but none were "just right."

A Yahoo! search of "how to boil eggs" retrieves 96,300 hits! Can there really be that many ways to, so to speak, screw in a light bulb? The first listings recommend boiling for 10-15 mins depending on how hard you want the yolk; boiling for 17 minutes; turning off the heat as soon as the water reaches a boil, covering and letting them sit for 30 minutes; and after the water boils removing them from the heat to let them sit for about 15-20 minutes.

The perfect boiled egg can take a lot of research, effort and trial and error...a metaphor for everyday life.

Despite our best efforts to plan ahead and anticipate contingencies, sometimes things just don't turn out the way we want. We can't control how boiling water impacts a yolk any more than we can control other people and make them do what we want: give us the job, a raise or a contract. On the other hand, sometimes the synergy of our preparation, positive thoughts and the universe yields results even better than we expected.

In life as with hard boiled eggs, we won't know which until it's too late.

When we're dissatisfied with eggs that don't turn out quite right, are we setting our standards too high? Shouldn't we be grateful for the eggs we have? Do we keep aiming for perfection by cutting out the cooked edges of the yolks or microwaving them until done (Hmmm. Wish I'd thought of that when staring at the mushy yolks)? Or do we refill our well of hope and put another pot of water on to boil?

In any case, we should know better than to put all of our eggs in one baskett.

The Crying Bride

2008-07-15T15:36:00.005-05:00

This week I was hired to be part of The Go Game , a team building corporate scavenger hunt held on Chicago's Magnificent Mile. Hundreds of players on more than 100 teams had to earn points by completing missions received on cell phones. The longer they took, the fewer points earned.

My role this time was The Crying Bride. I dare not reveal too many details about my mission, but... Garbed in white satin, veil, and Sketchers with rhinestones, I waited on the steps of Holy Name Cathedral for teams to arrive and find out why I was crying. I knew two passwords, to be revealed only when team members complied with mission requirements to my satisfaction. Then a team member had to text each password in order receive the next step in the assignment.

The sight of a "bride" seated on church stairs prompted many reactions from passersby. Many smiled and asked if I was getting married today, kids and bus tours waved, a few people took my picture. Two people actually stopped to ask if I needed help, and they were serious: a very nice post office employee in her truck, and a construction worker in a hard hat who said he'd been picked among his co-workers to talk to me. It was heartwarming to know that some people really do care about others.

My improv training and experience came in very handy because every team approached the situation differently. Some jumped right in and offered solutions to my "problem" of being abandoned by my fiance. Others, it seemed, would have let me go on wailing all day, losing precious points but appreciating my antics. I really enjoyed finding ways to make each team laugh. But in case you, dear reader, end up playing the game some day and make your way to my post, I will let you wonder what those ways might be.

Formal Wear Frustration

2008-07-08T14:43:00.003-05:00

I need a formal dress/evening gown because I'm going to be handing out the awards at a black tie ceremony with around 2,000 people in attendance. And like those stunning, tall models at the Oscars/Tonys who distribute statuettes, I'll step back for the acceptance speeches and gracefully guide the winners and presenters offstage. But not like them, because I'm only 5'1" tall.

I feel like my quest has taken me to almost every store in Chicagoland and every fashion Web site. I have devoted far more hours to this cause than anticipated, with less than satisfactory results. In my closet hangs a boring navy gown, the only one that fit. Even extensive alterations couldn't have saved some that I tried on, according to an Evening Wear Specialist at Neiman Marcus. The saleswoman at Saks almost laughed out loud when she saw me in an size 4 ensemble that made me look like a little girl trying on her mom's clothes.

Thanks to Bloomingdales and Nordstrom for carrying petite formalwear. Bloomies wins on largest instore selection of small sizes. Conversely, Bloomies online has fewer petite offerings than Nordstrom's. But who wants to/is able to rack up credit card charges by ordering multiple dresses to see if one of them looks good, even with free shipping TO you (some sites have charges for returns)?

Thanks to Neiman Marcus for having by far the best selection, and surprisingly good sale prices. Thanks to barriepace.com (and, believe it or not, amazon.com!!) for carrying some petite formalwear, if not as many offerings on sale. Kudos to smartbargains.com and www.designersapparels.com for their wide selection of dresses, if not in petites.

But no thanks to evening wear designers and stores who have decided that petite women:
--only need a couple of styles to choose from while those of normal size get dozens
--are all in their 20's, and only want baby doll/really short cocktail dresses, or are ancient or have no fashion sense, so conservative or Mother of the Bride-y gowns are de rigeur
--would prefer boring Navy over the lovely Lipstick the dress came in for nomral sizes (though I did find one hot pink gown online)
--are flat chested, so strapless, halter, and spaghetti strap gowns don't have enough fabric on top to contain a real petite woman's feminine bounty
--do not like wearing sparkles/sequins/beading as much as their tall friends
--appreciate that dress sizes seem to have been downsized, so a 0 is what used to be a 2, and a 2 what was a 4.

I wish I had enough entrepreneurial spirit/wherewithal to create my own line of stylish petite clothing. Any takers?

Holidays: Bah, Humbug

2008-07-03T07:58:00.001-05:00

When I had a full time job, I used to look forward to holidays. How nice to go to a movie, read a book, and hang out with friends/family while work was paying you to take the day off and have a good time.

Living the Gainfully Unemployed life has led to a 180. Now, holidays make me kind of cranky. I turn into a Grinchy Scrooge who no longer views holidays as opportunities for fun. They're just days when no one will call for an audition, no one will book me for a job. There won't be any contact with agents/editors. Rehearsals and classes I enjoy and learn from will be canceled. Not only will I not make money, I'll probably spend it. At least some products will be on sale.

The sad part: while I realize and believe that everyone benefits from down time and relaxation to reduce stress and refill the creative well, I don't believe I deserve a day off. Why?

1. I haven't written nearly enough new pages so far this year, partly because I'm not really invested in a new project. Instead of keeping to my 25 new pages a week goal, I've been dabbling. Revisiting this idea, starting that one. I need to come up with an exciting idea ASAP so I can keep to my goal of completing a new book a year.

2. Then there's selling the manuscripts I've already written. Though I have a bunch of submissions out, I should continue to work on TGAH, The Great Agent Hunt. I recently bought an opportunity to submit to a major non-fiction agent from an online charity auction to motivate me to finish a proposal I've been working on for over a year, but still haven't.

3. I need to improve my audio recording and background music composing skills. I've downloaded Acid Express and Acid Music Studio free trials, but haven't been able to figure out a lot of the stuff they can do.

4. Maybe if I'd spent more time on self-marketing, I'd have more bookings. I could contact producers I've worked with before, update my agents on the most recent gigs I've gotten, find new places to submit to. Let more people know about the improv show I'm in.

So you see, I don't deserve a day off because the freelancer's job is never done.

While almost everyone else is celebrating at barbeques and parties and watching fireworks (and sweating and getting sunburned and mosquito bitten and ingesting far more calories than they probably need), I can't seem to help thinking about accomplishing something and being productive. Even if I don't work on any of the aformentioned projects, I could at least clean out my storage closet. Or tackle any of the other items on my To Do list. At least then I could put a big, satisfying checkmark through a task or two I'd been meaning to get around to.

My holiday would be worthwhile.

Facebook???

2008-06-26T08:28:00.003-05:00

Recently I put a profile up on Facebook. You'd have to live under a rock not to have heard of it and MySpace, so I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I'm still not quite sure.

So far, FB seems like a huge online timesuck. You could spend hours searching for new friends, inviting and answering invites, writing on walls, checking everyone's updates and adding your own. I guess some people get emotionally invested in increasing their number of friends. And by the complexity of their pages, you can tell that some have spent hours customizing and adding info.

As a cousin wrote, for me there's just too much "social spam." How are people I've never heard of finding me? Some I have friends in common with, but some I don't. Maybe FB should include in the friending invitation info about how that person found you. I don't yet understand all the side applications (and I think I read somewhere that some of them aren't completely safe and might track your internet usage, etc.).

And what is the point of things like "green patch" and "friends for sale?" Someone bought me as a pet, and wants me to click to find out how much I cost. What does that mean? Nor am I that interested in playing the various games I've been invited to.

Maybe I'm too old to get it, or maybe I just have a different definition of fun.

Do people really meet new people via these sites? Do they connect with long lost contacts and friends...and if so, in a meaningful way? I'd bet if people took all the time they're spending on Facebook/online games, and invested that in their careers or with their live friends/family, they'd probably get a lot more accomplished. But perhaps in today's world, some find online relationships more satisfying than being face to face. Or...remember this...talking on the phone.

Let me know what you get out of Facebook. And maybe I'll finally understand why it's so popular.

Long Day's Journey into Night...

2008-06-20T08:42:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I worked as a movie extra from 9:30AM until 2:00AM. You read that right. A total of 16 1/2 hours.

Extras here usually get paid $65 for the first 8 hours, then time and half after that, minus 1/2 hour for lunch.

The fun parts:
--hanging out with interesting fellow extras
--being so close to famous stars/directors you can hear them discuss the scene and see the results of the conversations with each take, so it's like a master class
--watching a scene being developed and changed
--the chance of my scene making it onto the big screen
--when the movie is released, comparing what I saw during filming to the final version
--when not on set, getting paid to read and check email
--eating tasty food I don't have to buy, cook or clean up after (often there are yummy homemade desserts and a salad bar that rivals many a restaurant, many times carved beef and grilled fish)

The not so fun parts:
--wearing their shoes that hurt your feet
--the "hurry up and wait." Yesterday lunch was ready, but since extras can't eat before the crew, we sat waiting. The minute we were allowed to get in line, they said we had to rush to set...so we should box up our food and carry it with us.
--waiting for the camera(s) to be reset and for changes to lighting, etc
--uncomfortable working conditions: the set and/or holding can be very hot or very cold, or even very dusty (crew members may actually create extra dust, several times before each take)
--somehow the sitting and waiting is exhausting

I have now worked as an extra on 61 different major motion pictures/TV shows. Wonder who holds the world record?

Living in the Moment

2008-06-12T08:05:00.005-05:00

How can we enjoy the now and live in the moment, when we are worried about the future and thinking about the past? I'm sure Carrie Bradshaw asked a similar question in a Sex and the City episode, but I'm not going to re-rent the series to see how she answered it.

Often we expend more energy living in the future...what we need to be doing vs. what we are doing, where we have to go next and not being where we are and enjoying who we're with right now. Just look at the number of people who pull out their BlackBerries/cell phones during meetings...to take care of other stuff instead of the business they are in the room to transact.

In my world, the ebb and flow of my eclectic lifestyle is often what draws me out of being present in the present.

Last week, I had 6 days in a row of acting work!!! Mon-Thurs: rehearsals and performances with a serious improv ensemble that does employee training/development. Fri: recording session for a voiceover role. Sat: rehearsal with the improv team I'll be performing with.

Very exciting and productive.

But in the back of my mind lurked thoughts like, "What about next week? Not a single audition or booking scheduled. And look at what's happening to the stock market and the price of gas! What about your weekly new page goal...you haven't written a word!" The arrival of several rejections didn't help matters any.

This week, I'm going to make an effort to be 100% where I am and find some contentment in what I am doing and am accomplishing vs. what I need to do. To do my best to not worry about things I can't control.

What about you?

Making Life Experience Work for YOU

2008-06-05T08:31:00.004-05:00

What life experiences have you had that are proving or could prove useful now?

For me, it's the 16 years I spent (sometimes kicking and screaming) in corporate sales and marketing. Many actors and authors, though extremely talented in their craft, lack the skills to self-promote and/or the understanding of the need or interest in doing so. A large part of both businesses is who you know, and no one can know you if he or she hasn't heard of you. Like the lottery slogan, if you're not in it, you can't win it.

So how can you get in the game?

Self-marketing in any field takes time, energy, confidence/moxie, creativity and money.

You need:
--To produce the best promotional materials you can, whether it's the right kind of headshot and resume or a great query letter. Your materials must best represent and differentiate you without going too far outside the box. There are standards and conventions for these items; if you don't meet them you'll probably end up in the circular file. I've heard many agents/editors comment on ridiculous query letters that they toss and too many casting directors/acting agents critique bad headshots they won't bother to give any consideration to.
A fellow actor recently commented about his difficulty in finding an acting agent. Unfortunately, his headshot/resume made it clear why, despite his great look...wrong kind and size of picture, wrong background, and giving irrelevant info with many formatting errors.
So don't shoot yourself in the foot before you even get in the door.
--Knowledge of the business world and professionalism. Sometimes the little things, which usually you can control, really count. Examples: Be on time. Arrive prepared. Follup up in a timely fashion.
--Willingness to invest in yourself. For example, a good Web site doesn't come cheap, and can take a lot of time to create and keep up to date.
--Discipline to do the work every week and not sit back and wait for the phone to ring because you have an agent.
--The ability to push past any fears, whether that fear is of talking about yourself or contacting strangers.
--Get help. Seek advice from those more experienced so you can avoid stupid mistakes.
--Get out there. When possible, get involved in your industry so you can network.

What can you do to improve your self-marketing?

Why our economy is failing

2008-05-29T07:36:00.000-05:00

Our economy is tanking, and consumers are paying the price in time, frustration, and money. Aside from the mortgage crisis and the high price of oil, here's why:

Poor customer service!!!!!

On the phone: How frustrating are customer service phone lines...where, if you have enough graduate degrees to figure out how to get to a live person, you still have to press or say a zillion commands the overly soothing voice won't understand?
And if you get an actual human, unfortunately chances are you won't be able to understand him or her very well.

The newest wrinkle: fake friendliness, which they think makes them seem like they care but actually wastes more time. In recent dealings with a credit card company, cheeryisms like, "How are you doing today?" made the call twice as long.

In store: how rare is it want help, and actually find someone who knows the products? Even at Nordstrom, which prides itself on customer service...one item I wanted had to be shipped from another store. I received a different item, with another shopper's receipt. Couldn't get the box picked up for weeks. The actual item I ordered never surfaced, despite numerous calls to and "I'm sorrys" from an assistant manager.

For many Chicagoans, one word exemplifies the problem: Macy's.
There are still people protesting the changeover from Marshall Field's...a recent news story told of a man who bought one Macy's share so he could attend the shareholder meeting. Learn more: here.

One bright note: at a recent trip to Ulta, an employee was helpful and knowledgeable about the benefits of various flatirons. She seems to be the exception to the rule.

In home: A Certain Cable Company. Need I say more? Last summer, a neighbor and I each spent hours on the phone to resolve very frustrating, persistent service outages (particularly so because I work at home and couldn't send files when I wanted to) and scheduling repair visits. And because they don't have dedicated service reps, often I had to re-explain the whole situation. I couldn't get them to show up when they said they would or at all. I think he got them to show up once, but then the required follow up visit to our building never happened.
I complained and got them to let me pay 1/2 for 6 months...then fortunately my building changed to a different provider.

In general:

--Almost every time I shop, no matter when I go: long checkout lines at most stores.

--What's on the shelf: How many times do you go to a drug or grocery store and the product you want isn't there...because it's out of stock Do you have the patience/time to track down an employee and see if they have what you want? I don't. More and more, it seems groceries are carrying fewer national brands and filling aisles with their own products.

The frustration of shopping these days often outweighs the enjoyment of acquiring and using new products. You'd think retailers would want us to shop more...what can be done?

On Portraying a Dog

2008-05-22T08:20:00.000-05:00

Last week my musical improv class at ComedySportz had our show. We had a large crowd, including 6 of my supportive friends/family, and my team won. A great night.

If you're in a regular play, you know exactly what you're supposed to say and when you're supposed to move, and after all the rehearsing you pretty much know what everyone else will say and do. The fun and frightening thing about improv is that you never know what character or activity you'll be called upon to do...and all choices and decisions are made on the spot. In one game, A Day in the Life, an audience volunteer comes on stage and shares the details of his day. Then we perform a musical about that. My team captain had already chosen the two team members who'd take the leading roles, with the 3 remaining playing all other parts.

Our volunteer was a radiologist whose day began by forcing his dog, who'd had a bad weekend, to take medicine. Instantly I knew I should be the dog. A second later, the captain whispered to me that I should play the dog.

So when our "radiologist" called for his dog, Bootsie, I dropped to my hands and knees and crawled to him. I barked. I shook my recently shorn (more on that another day) but still somewhat curly black hair. I thought of Scooby-Doo, who sort of talked in words like 'ruh-roh,' and did that. I refused to take my medicine, even when he enticed me with a ball. And, the audience laughed.

In another game, Sideline Karaoke, one member from each team leaves the theatre while audience members suggest songs for the rest of us to silently act out, as in Charades, and for them to guess while singing as if they were at a Karaoke bar. I think this game is one of the hardest, so I hope I never have to be the guesser.

The songs we had to do were You're So Vain, and two I'd never heard of: Sister Christian and Woop, There it is. For Sister Christian, another woman (who also is short with dark curly hair) and I tried to show that we were sisters by linking arms and pointing to each other. Then we tried to portray nuns. Our team member got that, but couldn't make the connection to sisters. Then we tried praying, then taking communion while she guessed 'Catholic' and other religious things. A guy then tried 'sounds like fist', and she guessed the song.

The other team got hung up on Material Girl...she got 'mat' when team members drew on the floor, and 'girl', but couldn't get further. My team member amazingly guessed all three.

These examples illustrate some of the benefits of taking improv: enhanced team building and communication skills. Most of us have been taking classes together for almost a year now and have come to appreciate each other's strengths and weaknesses.

Note to self: figure out how to apply these lessons to every day life.

How Much Can I Chew?

2008-05-08T08:09:00.009-05:00

Ever have a brilliant idea that turned out to be more than you bargained for?

A friend and I had talked about submitting pieces to a local public radio station. Faithful readers may recall that I'd entered the Public Radio Talent Quest and made it to the Top 100 People's Choice out of more than 1400 entries. I've been a classical radio announcer and a news anchor at my high school and college stations.

Said friend loaned me a broadcast quality digital recorder and showed me the basics of use. Because I hadn't yet come up with a brilliant story idea, I decided to try the complex recorder out at my Romance Writers of America chapter's writing conference by interviewing a few authors and creating podcasts for their Web sites and mine.

Why interview one author when you can interview 17? In the midst of conference events on Saturday, I corralled 17 multi-pulished authors--including our keynote speaker Debbie Macomber, who has sold more than 60 million books!!! I talked with each about a different aspect of the writing life. Everyone was excited to participate. One author even contacted her publisher's publicist--who wants to post it and another Avon author's on the Avon site!

Except I didn't yet have a product, just digital files. I, the untechie, had to get the interviews off the recorder and into my computer. The manual made my eyes glaze over. I was afraid I'd lose the files or convert them to some format my computer wouldn't read. Fortunately, my friend helped...that part was easier than I thought. Then I had to edit each interview with Audacity software, add music (which I created myself via another program) and add an intro/outro...a lengthy process.

I'm calling the series Authors Tell All. The first, with author Jenna Petersen who also writes as Jess Michaels, will be posted on my site under Features soon.

I hope to do more in the future. But this time around, I'll be charging for my time and talent!

Major Motion Picture Audition!!

2008-05-01T12:32:00.002-05:00

Yes, faithful readers, yours truly had her first audition for a major motion picture this morning. And not to be a day player--the receptionist, pizza guy, friendly neighbor who has one or two scenes and a few lines--but for a supporting role: the main character's mother.

I've thought for years I could easily handle being a day player, and have tried to get auditions. Anyone who is comfortable in front of the camera and doesn't quake under the gazes of the director and 40-50 crew members should be able to say, "Right this way, sir" or "Here's your pizza. That'll be $18.99." But actually acting a role with many scenes and extensive interaction with the lead characters is another thing entirely.

Got an email about the audition Tuesday afternoon, the script for part of two scenes followed. Ran out to buy the book. Scanned the very long book the movie is based on for scenes with the mother to learn more about her character. Interestingly, very few descriptions. And it was interesting to see how the scenes appeared in the book and who said the lines vs. the screenplay pages.

Learned the lines and had a friend help me run them over coffee. Pondered and pondered over what to wear...to try to embody the character or not? Printed several sets of directions because there's so much construction I wasn't sure which way to go.

When I got there, one of the talent agents rehearsed with me. Very helpful, because it a) made sure I knew the lines and b) helped burn off nerves. Again came the challenge of balancing my theatrical nature with the comedy in the lines and the need to be real. The actual audition simply consisted of doing the scenes on camera with the agent reading the other parts. Then they send the video to the movie people...not like a theater or improv audition where there could be more than 10 people scrutinizing you.

Apparently not very many people are being submitted for this part!!!!!! But I know better than to count a single feather, much less a whole chicken.

No one said to keep this confidential, but I didn't ask if I could share info either....so I'll just say that one of today's most famous teen stars is the lead.

Fatal Execution Engine Error?!

2008-04-21T16:21:00.007-05:00

I bought a new computer because mine was over 3 1/2 years old and I feared a major crash. After researching, decided on another Dell, and stuck with XP after hearing many Vista horror stories.

Spent the better part of two days setting it up, loading and downloading software, transferring files, customizing settings. I even managed to open my old PC and remove the firewire card.

I'm quite proud that I was able to do all this computery stuff myself (with the help of the Internet) tho I confess to several periods of extreme frustration.

The surprises:
--how many programs I use.
--how much updating a brand new computer needs
--all the fairly common software, like iTunes and QuickTime, it didn't already have.

The good:
--my new Dell is SOOO much quieter than the old. Amazing.
--it's SOOO much faster, since I went with the new Intel Quad core processor. Amazing.
--love, love, love my wireless mouse.

The bad:
--I turn on my brand new system to see: FATAL EXECUTION ENGINE ERROR.
AARGH! Something to do with the JIT debugger, whatever that is.
Instead of freaking, I clicked cancel.
Everything seems to work fine. Whew.
A bit of Internet research led to a couple of fixes. I tried the easy one, which is unchecking the script debugging boxes under Tools/Internet Options/Advanced ...we'll see if that works. The next way seems to be downloading a dotnetfx.exe file. Hmmm.

--the widescreen monitor, which is awesome for my voiceover recording program Audacity, has the tiniest, most infinitesimal font and many attempts to change the settings/display seem only to affect fonts in randomly selected locations. I fear I'll need a magnifying glass to read my AOL. Advice, O techies in Internet land?

--can't get my PC speakers to play music and leave my headphones for recording only, the settings I had on my old PC. Tried and tried.

--let's just say Word 2007 has quite the learning curve.

--while my wireless keyboard has some nifty features, it doesn't fit with the nice gel wristpad on my keyboard tray and so far isn't as comfortable to type on...and some keys are in different places. like end and page up. So far I automatically go to where those keys used to be.

To think this is a process most of us will go through every fewe years...there must be an easer way?

Too Stupid to Live

2008-04-15T13:09:00.004-05:00

When reading/critiquing romance novels, when the heroine does something completely out of character, something totally stupid, we say she is TSTL, or too stupid to live.

(For more on the issue, Jenna Black recently blogged quite nicely here.)

Unfortunately, TSTL moments also occur in real life. Though I'm usually a very together person, I've recently experienced more than my share.
Examples:
1. Sunday, went with my brother to clean out a family storage locker we hadn't been to in 4 years. I had the keys, the locker number, and a key card. We followed my Mapquest directions until we saw the storage place. The place required a code. Which we didn't have, and I didn't remember needing. No problem, we'd go to the office. I'd written down from the Web site that the place opened at 9, about 15 minutes. But the door said 10. So we went to breakfast. When the office opened and I asked the clerk for a code, she realized we were at the wrong place...the right one was around the corner. No wonder the info we had didn't match.

2. Monday, worked as an extra on The Unborn . After I was done, got the shuttle back to crew parking. Got off, went to get in my car and realized I'd left my garment bag in extras holding. Like I haven't been an extra enough times to remember my clothes.

3. Wednesday, had an appointment in my calendar for 4:30. For some unknown reason, I thought it was at 4:00. Since I'm always early, arrived at 3:45.

Why this sudden rush of carelessness? Maybe I'm thinking too much about other things I need to do and where I'm going instead of focusing on where I am, instead of being in the moment.

I sure hope these aren't "senior moments!!!"

Trusting the Universe

2008-04-10T08:08:00.003-05:00

Last week happened to be great, acting wise...but this week loomed with nary an audition or booking on the calendar.

Sunday evening (for some reason my least favorite time of the week) arrived with lots of blanks on my schedule. A couple of lunches with friends, though fun, do not make for a productive week. I have contest entries to judge and could work on a new book, but if at all possible I don't want to have a week without something developing on the acting front.

Many people, including those behind and following The Secret, believe if you put those good thoughts of what you want out there and believe it will happen, the universe will provide. Well, I've been doing that for YEARS about selling a book. Faithful readers know I'm still waiting for "the call."

It's a challenge for me to sit back and trust, and rely on all the irons I've worked so hard to put in the fire. So I usually tend to take a proactive approach, and find some online auditions to submit to. Remind people I've worked with of my existence. Monday, Tuesday...this approach yielded zip. Hmmm. Hard to keep the stress from boiling through the top of my head.

Then on Wednesday:
--a talent agent called with an audition for today.
--got asked to do a quick reshoot later in the week because of a script change.
--tho I wasn't chosen by a major film director for a scene I'd been asked by an extras casting director to submit for, he's considering me for another, much smaller scene.

What a lot of good news in one day! On the other hand, the roller coaster continues...

--received another rejection for my newest novel.
--the smaller movie scene conflicts with a commitment I'd made to give a workshop. So do I accept the movie, which I believe could have more impact on my career, and back out/find a replacement for the workshop? Or honor my previous commitment?

The universe giveth, taketh away, and occasionally confuseth...

Conflicted

2008-04-03T08:30:00.003-05:00

Scheduling and previous commitments continue to be a bane of my existence. And I'm not getting better at adjusting my time or not being bummed that I can't do it all and take advantage of every opportunity.

Examples:

1) Overbooked: I was hired for two days of mock trials, something I've been interested in doing for several years. Not only is my nephew's birthday party one of the days, an agent called with an audition for an even better paying gig that would shoot on the other. So I had to say no to the agent and my nephew. Friends/classmates are in a show I want to see but it's at 11PM the night before the mock trial, which starts at 8:30AM. Of course there were days that week with nothing specific on the calendar.

2) Over-YESsed: I can't seem to say no when asked to judge writing contests, because I've appreciated and benefitted from feedback I've received over the years...but each entry takes a lot of time and mental energy. Some days, work for the board of directors I'm on requires immediate and significant attention. My sister asked me to help her with something. My writing group invited me to do a workshop. All things I want to do and enjoy doing.

But adding these activities to auditioning, rehearsals/learning lines, acting jobs, improv class, self-marketing and critiquing friends' books means many workdays go way beyond 9-5. Which means less time to read the books on my overflowing 'to be read' shelf and less time for a social life: two of the reasons I quit my day job in the first place.

Worse, I wonder if I'm using all of these commitments to avoid dealing with more serious issues/projects. Like working diligently on a new book.

Lately I've been falling into the trap of believing I have no time. I say, "Oh, I have this, this, this and this I have to do today. And, hmm, I really need groceries. And look, I have a Dr. appointment. And I'd better buy this birthday gift." Thus whittling away the day with things I do need to do, because I said I would. I need to get back to choosing how I use my time, vs. letting busy-busyness choose.

But what is the best use of my time? How do you decide the best use of yours?

The Show Must Go On...

2008-03-26T11:11:00.003-05:00

....even when you're sick. I've been stricken with the severe and long-lasting cold/cough that has been making the rounds. But not even the GU (gainfully unemployed) can collapse on their couches without some ramifications. I did engage in much collapsing from Good Friday through the Easter weekend, making my way through copious amounts of TheraFlu, tea and Puffs.

But I had an audition Monday from an agent for a train the trainer video that could not be missed. So whenever I could manage to lever myself off the couch, I laid down the 3 pages of copy on my ear prompter and practiced. An ear prompter, for the uninitiated, is a tape recorder with a news anchor-type earpiece attached. The script plays back in your ear, then you say it. This enables the actor to audition with large amounts of copy without having to memorize it. Try repeating whatever the radio announcer or news anchor says, and you'll get the idea.

Thanks to the miracles of makeup, I managed to conceal my red nose and make my eyes look less puffy. I drove to the audition and even found a parking space. I must say, it went very well, and the auditioner said she was very pleased, but the client would choose who got the part. I was so happy to get back home and change out of my audition attire into my sweats. Then the phone rang. It was my agent. No way they could they have decided that fast. Maybe he had another audition for me.

Neither of the above.

My audition had been videotaped without sound. Could I go back right away and redo it?

I changed clothes. I drove all the way back. I did the audition again. Not sure it was quite as good...
And I didn't get the part. Sigh.

The Homeless Washerwoman Lives On

2008-03-16T14:32:00.006-05:00

Waiting is an inevitable part of the acting (and writing) worlds. You wait to find out if you've gotten a part you auditioned for. You wait for agents to send you on auditions. You wait for your paychecks. When you're an extra, you wait to see if your scene made it into the final film. If not, you wait even longer to see if it shows up in the DVD's deleted scenes.

In November, 2005, I won an online fan auction and travelled to Lithuania to be a featured extra in Highlander 5: The Source. I had to wait almost 2 years to see if my scene made it in.

In mid-September 2007, the movie finally came out as a SciFi Original. I watched with baited breath. Yes! About 10 minutes in, there is a shot of just me walking away from the new villain, The Guardian.

But what became of the rest of the shots we did, and the interviews I'd done for "the making of" featurette? I had to wait until the DVD just came out a couple of weeks ago. No interviews appeared, which is probably for the best...I was so excited to be there I have no idea what I said. About 52 and a half minutes into the special feature on the making of the movie, lo and behold! There are several shots of me and my three fellow homeless compatriots. And you can see the shot during the entrance of Zai, another character new to the Highlander universe.

For readers who want to know more, my Set Visit Report is still on the Highlander Worldwide Web site.

I'm a model!

2008-03-05T13:50:00.006-06:00

Yes, this is true. I shot my first print ad yesterday!!! Out of 8 people cast from many who auditioned from various talent agencies, I was the only female. The ads will appear in some newpapers, magazines and the Internet.

The process was just like the shoots on America's Next Top Model. Had my hair/makeup/wardrobe done. Stepped onto the light-strewn set, where the photographer, an ad agency representative and the guy who seemed to be the director (never got his title) and a guy who manned the computer (never got his title either) could see every shot appear on a huge computer monitor.

Just like the ANTM models, I was asked to keep "giving them something different" in terms of facial expression, attidude, and gestures. Even when you have a clear idea of what they're looking for and they offer suggestions, doing this is over and over is harder than you might think. And you try "smiling with no teeth" while people are telling jokes.

Watching every ANTM cycle (they're on #10 at the moment) definitely helped me get and succeed at this job. Thanks to Tyra I've learned how to make sure my eyes convey emotion instead of being flat and lifeless. Thanks to Tyra, when they said "smile with your eyes," I knew exactly what they meant.

Everyone seemed happy, and said I was very photogenic. At one point the director showed me a closeup on the HUGE monitor and said something about how great my face was for closeups. Pretty much all I saw were the bags under my eyes and the wrinkles that have recently appeared above my top lip...but all that matters was that the client liked it. My eyes looked good, tho. Will be very interesting to see the final product!

Ruth

Typecasting: Who are YOU?

2008-02-27T11:19:00.007-06:00

Last weekend I went to a workshop given by two of Chicago's premier casting directors (CDs). They were willing to take questions about almost anything. So I asked about my look. I have a mass of very curly, frizzy, black hair that falls past my shoulders (longer than in my headshots) and is hard to tame no matter how many defrizzer gels, conditioners, shampoos etc. I try.

One of the CDs, Claire Simon, who casts many commercials, films and TV shows, said I needed a more sophisticated haircut so I didn't fall through the casting cracks. She also didn't like the color...too black. Or my bangs. The other CD agreed.

Some people might have thought: Screw you, I look fine the way I am. An actress who wants to get called in by Claire Simon thinks: What can I do to make myself more marketable in this business? How can I fit my type? Especially in commercials, and also in film & TV, everyone has a type. You don't get to choose, you just are what you look like.

One man in the class commented that he wanted to be seen as more than a Chicago cop type. Which he actually was, looks, and sounds exactly like. The verdict: because of his look and Chicago accent, chances of him getting cast as a doctor or something along those lines were very slim. Another woman wanted to get sent out for more than "young mother." Which, of course, she looks and sounds like.

Actors may be able to adapt somewhat, by being a lawyer one day or a doctor another. But we can't choose to be "the person next door" if we are perceived by those who do the casting as "upscale attractive." So we might as well be the best of our type we can be.

Fortunately I already had a hair appointment scheduled for yesterday. I brought in a couple of pictures and talked to my stylist. She hacked at least 4 inches off the back (I couldn't look at the piles of hair on the floor), reshaped the front and my bangs are now off to the side, so I have sort of a slightly longer than Julie Christie at the Oscars look. I am pleased to report that I like it.

I shall send Claire a picture (before I invest in new headshots; my new cut is sort of similar to my current headshots and I have TONS of copies). We'll see if my attempt at sophistication yields any results.

As to the color, I have a lot of gray...and though I've tried many brands, only black covers it. Even the darkest brown shades fade on the first day. My hair grows so fast that if I got highlights I'd have to take time and fork over more $ for new ones every three weeks. I talked to a colorist who suggested either internal highlights that would show off my curls but not be impacted as much by growout. And/or a two shade color correction requiring some bleaching to lighten my hair just enough it wouldn't look blackest black. Lots of $$$$$ involved. I will think on these options.

What type are you?